The Bright Side Is the Vikings' Playoff Hopes Collapsed Weeks Ago

The joke going around the NFL is that the weather gods are smiling on Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre to the point of helping him to preserve his consecutive-games-started streak. On Sunday, a snow storm so vicious that it was able to collapse in an inflatable roof (think a large balloon, but slightly bigger; presumably slughtly tougher as well), forced the Vikings game against the New York Giants to be postponed one day. We prefer to take the more direct point of view out there and say that, if there are indeed weather gods, they were just doing their best at preventing the world from bearing witness to Minnesota shamelessly trying to put together a half-decent game of football. Considering the game will be played in Detroit, with the Vikings assuming the role of the home team, it could also be their subtle way of pointing out who the league's next Lions are.

Favre's streak is at 297 games currently. The Vikings' streak of suckiness meanwhile ran out two games ago, but their current run of mediocrity is at least 12 games old.

Jackson Stops at One-Yard Line, then Takes TD Celebration too Far

Dallas Cowboys cornerback Orlando Scandrick nearly closed the gap successfully between Philadelphia Eagles wide-receiver DeSean Jackson and the rest of the Cowboys’ defense before Jackson scored a 91-yard touchdown on Sunday in the Eagles’ 30-27 victory. When it’s all said and done, Jackson may wish Scandrick had caught him before he made a fool of the Cowboys and himself in the process.

On the play, Jackson stopped short of the end zone, turned around and then dropped inside, resulting in an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. The issue here isn’t the celebration, but the fact that it was a pre-celebration. Scoring is fun and dancing around like it’s 1999 and the Denver Broncos are still a good team is all fine and dandy, but only once you get into the end zone. Up until that point you should act like a professional or risk the unthinkable happening, like being stripped of the ball at the last second by a never-say-die opponent. Scandrick was nearly that opponent and now “die” is among the nicest things Cowboys fans are likely to utter to Jackson the next time he’s in Dallas.

Jackson’s skills are undeniable. But he still lacks a great deal of intelligence the same way a musician would a sheet of inspiring music or Bob Vila a broken-down house. Jackson has all the tools to be great, but not the wherewithal with which to showcase them properly. Instead, fans are treated to his countless displays of idiocy, which are entertaining to watch, but more for their shock value, making him quite the sideshow attraction. What’s saddest is that these incidents date back to his rookie season in the league in a game against who else but the Cowboys.

On September 15, 2008, Jackson caught a long pass and easily made his way into the end zone. The only problem was that he unwittingly dropped the ball at the one-yard line, making the score null and void. The Eagles ended up scoring on the same series, meaning Jackson never likely got all that much flak from the coaching staff for his gaffe. No harm no foul, right?

Considering this time around, Jackson took the time to make sure the ball was firmly in his grasp before gracefully falling back into the end zone, maybe he did take something away from the first mistake, but, if that’s all, clearly that helmet-on-helmet hit that concussed him last season killed a few too many brain cells... or didn’t do the trick well enough.

And that’s what Jackson should fear, some opposing NFLer taking too much exception to his antics sometime down the line and then taking a few too many liberties on him the next time he’s left in a vulnerable position. As such, maybe the Eagles should have hoped that Scandrick caught up to him as well, even if it meant the game, considering how valuable Jackson is to the team in the long run... minus his showboating.

Cox Thrust into Tight Spot Behind Bars Following Arrest for Sexual Assault

"You can't catch me. No one can catch me... unless you're the police."

Denver Broncos rookie cornerback Perrish Cox was arrested on Thursday on charges of sexual assault stemming from an incident on October 28. On that day, Cox wasn't with the team when they departed for London to play the San Francisco 49ers in week eight. The week before, Cox suffered a concussion against the Oakland Raiders.

While his guilt has yet to be proven, one has to figure that however this turns out it won't be good for Cox. Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger was suspended six games to start the season following the second of the two sexual-assault accusations against him. While Roethlisberger's "sentence" was eventually reduced based on his good behaviour, one has to take into account that no charges were ever filed against him. The same cannot be said for Cox, who, if acquitted, likely will face more severe supplementary discipline at the hands of commissioner Roger Goodell. There's also the small distinction between the two players of Roethlisberger being a legitimate star and Cox not so much.

It's easy to build a case of nepotism against the NFL when discussing the suspensions it's issued in the past and ones it's conveniently neglected to (Houston Texans wide-receiver Andre Johnson after his dust-up with Tennessee Titans cornerback Cortland Finnegan, with the Texans next playing the Philadelphia Eagles in a game being broadcast on the NFL Network), but in this case Cox doesn't have nearly enough going for him in that regard to even merit the benefit of the doubt. Anytime your name is uttered in the same sentence as the league's personal-conduct policy, it's a good bet it won't turn out well for you. Most will say it's turned out pretty badly already for Cox.

Colts' Victory Overshadows Titans' Loss in Same Game

Someone should tell the Tennessee Titans that they changed their name from the Oilers a while back, because somewhere along the way they've sprung a leak.

Everyone has heard by now that the Indianapolis Colts have snapped out of their three-game funk, following Thursday's 30-28 victory over the Tennessee Titans on Thursday. But few are talking about how the Titans doubled up on the Colts' recent woes with their season-high losing streak hitting six yesterday.

When there are only 16 games to be played, you had better make damn sure that your losing streaks are kept to a minimum, and, under no circumstances are they to encompass over one third of your friggin' season. At that point, it's really just a pitiful cry out for help in the vain of a drug-addict son returning home asking for money to *ahem* get some "dinner". In the case of the Titans, their drug of choice seems to controversy, and lots of it.

For one example, it's clear that heading into the game Tennessee would have taken those 11 interceptions Peyton Manning had thrown in his last three games in a heartbeat over their current quarterback situation, because at least with the picks they would have gotten just a struggling QB in a package deal instead of the broken one they've got right now. We're talking beyond repair.

"On the plus side, I'm playing just like Peyton Manning."

Vince Young, now gone for the season, seems determined to act his name and like a hormonal, pubescent teenager, whose latest growth spurt has targeted his oversized head, both literally and figuratively. Cornerback Cortland Finnegan spends 90% of his time acting like a jackass, 9% making like Houston Texan wide-receiver Andre Johnson's punching bag, and the other 1% likely in a therapists' chair likely discussing some deep unresolved mother issues. And wide-receiver Randy Moss has been such a welcome addition to the team that the losing streak only became a streak by hitting two games once he arrived. Indeed, not only has Moss not been a gamebreaker, the Titans haven't even won a game with him playing.

Perhaps this latest loss best epitomizes the Titans' season so far. At one point they were down 21-0, but tried valiantly to get back in the game and did only to eventually fall short. Right now, no matter how many games they win to try and dig themselves from out of the grave they're in, all hope is pretty much lost. With three games left to play, it's still mathematically possible for the 5-8 Titans to make the playoffs, but you had to believe that yesterday's loss against a division rival was a must-win for there to be even a remotely realistic possibility of that happening. Jeff Fisher's decision to punt the ball late in the game with the score 27-21 at fourth and one was probably a mistake, one most melodramatic journalists might say cost Tennessee its season, but it was really only a mistake because it's become readily apparent that the team has nothing left to lose anymore. Even its dignity got lost a long time ago.

Fans booed the decision to send out the punting unit, but maybe they had just incorrectly assumed that they stood a chance, that the Colts were just the team to get them out of their rut, but truth be told deep inside they had to realize that it was the other way around and that all things being equal Indianapolis is just better. At this point, so are 30 others.

Former-NFLer McCants Finally Gets Famous... for Getting Busted

Former-NFL-linebacker Keith McCants never really lived up to the hype of being a fourth-overall pick by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers back in 1990, but, for the next little while at least, he's earned the name recognition of a bona-fide star after getting busted for crack-cocaine possession on Wednesday morning in Florida.

McCants is considered one of the great busts of the NFL draft, getting cut by the Bucs in 1993 and playing a total of just six seasons with the Bucs, along with the Houston Oilers and Arizona Cardinals. He's also had several run-ins with the law prior to this latest incident, most of which are related to the possession of drugs or drug paraphernalia.

So, to all those kids out there that have a dream that they don't think they can ever achieve, think of McCants... and just do the opposite. You should turn out just fine.

Pennington Can still Pen the Proper Ending to His Underrated Career

"Owww."

Athletes sacrifice their bodies for the good of their teams all the time. But, at this point, it would seem Miami Dolphins quarterback Chad Pennington is actually hoping to become a one-armed human-robotic freak over ever actually winning anything of value in the NFL.

A general rule of thumb would be if you're making a bid for a third trophy in your career and it's for NFL Comeback Player of the Year-honours, you probably shouldn't be tempting fate to give you a chance at a fourth. And, yet, Pennington, who suffered his fourth serious shoulder injury in November, is still contemplating returning after his scheduled surgery on Friday and eventual rehabilitation. 

There's got to be a point, one would think, where he would get sick of constantly having to pop painkillers, unless these injuries are just a cover to feed his ever-growing addiction to the stuff. It's no doubt a stretch, seeing as Hollywood sob stories aren't even crafted this well:

After triumphantly regaining the starting job in Miami over teammate Chad Henne, Pennington remained healthy for just one play in a November game against the Tennessee Titans. On the second play, he separated his shoulder. On the third, after popping it back in, he completed a 19-yard pass. There was no fourth.

Maybe Pennington should take a cue and a hint from the unfortunate sequence of events and realize all the extra effort exhausted in trying to test the physical limitations of the human body is all for naught. I mean, for a Dolphin, he ain't too bright. Of course, he was once a New York Jet, so that may explain some things.

Pennington is an unsung QB if there ever was one. He has a career passing percentage of 66%, which, surprisingly, is the all-time best. But when you've only started four games in the last two seasons, all the signs are pointing to retirement. At 34 years of age, no one can realistically call it an early one. Pennington has withstood the test of time long enough. Now it's time for him to walk into the sunset and count his blessings that a wonky shoulder is the worst he has to live with after an 11-year career that unfortunately didn't last nearly that long.

Look at it this way: no one wants to be another Brett Favre and hang on too late, thereby becoming the punchline of every football joke known to man. And that's even considering how returning and likely still ending up a better passer despite a bad throwing arm would constitute well-deserved revenge for having the starting job stolen away from him in New York once upon a time. Favre's made his bed (insert aforementioned punchline here), but that doesn't mean Pennington can't take a well-deserved rest in another.

Suh Pays Through His Teeth for Doing what Everyone Secretly Wants to Do: Hitting Jay Cutler

Detroit Lions defensive-lineman Ndamukong Suh reportedly got fined $15,000 by the NFL on Wednesday for this hit to the back of the head of Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler last Sunday, during a game the Bears ultimately won 24-20. Suh plans to appeal based on the fact that it was not a forearm, as was the on-field ruling which resulted in an unnecessary-roughness penalty, but just a hard push... that and it was Jake freakin' Cutler. His last-ditch attempt, should those  arguments fall through? He mistook Cutler for his own QB Drew Stanton, trying to beat some sense into him for doing the "Dougie" in the end zone earlier in the game.