Blood, Spit, and Tears Shed on the Battlefield... Allegedly

Calling being spit in the face "the worst thing you can do to a man", Miami Dolphins linebacker Channing Crowder has apparently never been hit in his privates, but that's a story for another day. The topic du jour is his crying out against allegedly being the unwanted recipient of some of Baltimore fullback Le'Ron McClain's bodily fluids during Sunday's 26-10 Ravens victory.

Now, in his defense, Crowder has a reason to be angry. Being spit in the face is a show of great disrespect and if Crowder's allegations are true then McClain can likely expect to be slapped in his face in turn by some disciplinary action on the part of the league, but the trick is proving it, because at the end of the day it all comes down to the impossible task of catching one of the two men in a lie.

Let's assume Crowder is not lying, because anyone that starts spouting his mouth off to that degree after a game is either telling the truth or delusional to the point that he might as well be, because there's just no reasoning with psychotics. So, how can anybody possibly prove that McClain spit in his face? Video evidence only shows Crowder wipe his eye as if he was spit in the face, but really that could be anything: an itch, spittle from trash talking, a raindrop materizlizing out of thin air at such an angle to hit Crowder in the face, anything. It really doesn't prove a whole lot. And McClain certainly won't come clean if he is guilty, because, apparently, as indicated earlier, in a league in which quarterback Joe Theismann suffered a compound fracture of the most disgusting variety and concussion-causing helmet-on-helmet hits have become the norm, spitting on someone is the most heinous thing ever. Just putitng it in some perspective, is all.

There is little denying that McClain should get the book thrown at him if he is discovered to be guilty, but until that time comes, if it ever does, the league has other things to worry about. An in-depth investigation can only go on for so long before the inevitable conclusion is discovered: eyeshields for everyone! I'm sure wipers of some sort could be added on relatively easily, for those times Crowder would rather get hit in the groin.