Showing posts with label Randy Moss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Randy Moss. Show all posts

Friday, December 10, 2010

Colts' Victory Overshadows Titans' Loss in Same Game

Someone should tell the Tennessee Titans that they changed their name from the Oilers a while back, because somewhere along the way they've sprung a leak.

Everyone has heard by now that the Indianapolis Colts have snapped out of their three-game funk, following Thursday's 30-28 victory over the Tennessee Titans on Thursday. But few are talking about how the Titans doubled up on the Colts' recent woes with their season-high losing streak hitting six yesterday.

When there are only 16 games to be played, you had better make damn sure that your losing streaks are kept to a minimum, and, under no circumstances are they to encompass over one third of your friggin' season. At that point, it's really just a pitiful cry out for help in the vain of a drug-addict son returning home asking for money to *ahem* get some "dinner". In the case of the Titans, their drug of choice seems to controversy, and lots of it.

For one example, it's clear that heading into the game Tennessee would have taken those 11 interceptions Peyton Manning had thrown in his last three games in a heartbeat over their current quarterback situation, because at least with the picks they would have gotten just a struggling QB in a package deal instead of the broken one they've got right now. We're talking beyond repair.

"On the plus side, I'm playing just like Peyton Manning."


Vince Young, now gone for the season, seems determined to act his name and like a hormonal, pubescent teenager, whose latest growth spurt has targeted his oversized head, both literally and figuratively. Cornerback Cortland Finnegan spends 90% of his time acting like a jackass, 9% making like Houston Texan wide-receiver Andre Johnson's punching bag, and the other 1% likely in a therapists' chair likely discussing some deep unresolved mother issues. And wide-receiver Randy Moss has been such a welcome addition to the team that the losing streak only became a streak by hitting two games once he arrived. Indeed, not only has Moss not been a gamebreaker, the Titans haven't even won a game with him playing.

Perhaps this latest loss best epitomizes the Titans' season so far. At one point they were down 21-0, but tried valiantly to get back in the game and did only to eventually fall short. Right now, no matter how many games they win to try and dig themselves from out of the grave they're in, all hope is pretty much lost. With three games left to play, it's still mathematically possible for the 5-8 Titans to make the playoffs, but you had to believe that yesterday's loss against a division rival was a must-win for there to be even a remotely realistic possibility of that happening. Jeff Fisher's decision to punt the ball late in the game with the score 27-21 at fourth and one was probably a mistake, one most melodramatic journalists might say cost Tennessee its season, but it was really only a mistake because it's become readily apparent that the team has nothing left to lose anymore. Even its dignity got lost a long time ago.

Fans booed the decision to send out the punting unit, but maybe they had just incorrectly assumed that they stood a chance, that the Colts were just the team to get them out of their rut, but truth be told deep inside they had to realize that it was the other way around and that all things being equal Indianapolis is just better. At this point, so are 30 others.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Tom Brady's Golden Locks versus Randy Moss's 'Fro and Beard




ESPN's Kenny Mayne's in-depth investigation as to why Randy Moss got traded to the Minnesota Vikings in the first place. Makes so much sense, why didn't anyone think of it before? It sure beats my initial hypothesis that Moss was just a selfish player that always wanted the ball. This newly discovered rationale does bring up one burning question, though: If hair grooming was the reason Moss was traded to the Vikings (Brady's head hair versus Moss's face hair), just what kind of hair grooming debate did he get into with Brett Favre? I shudder to think.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Tennessee: Meet Your Iceberg

"That is how you sabotage your own season, ladies and gentlemen."
You had to think one team had to do it, and it ended up being the Tennessee Titans, who took the plunge into the Atlantic's icy depths on Wednesday and claimed the recently waived Randy Moss from the Minnesota Vikings.

In the wake of the potential costly loss to injury of wide receiver Kenny Britt, the Titans could not restrain themselves from apparently putting their 5-3 season at risk.

Moss's talent is undeniable. He is a six-time Pro Bowler and he did win offensive-rookie-of-the-year honours back in 1998, which makes one wonder if this isn't just the Titans' way of reliving the past and rekindling an unrequited love affair that budded back in the 1998 NFL draft when the Titans - then the Oilers - opted to go with future bust Kevin Dyson instead. Moss went to the Vikings five picks later.

While Moss can be considered a relative bargain at $3.34 million for the last eight games of the season, so can a gorgeous prostitute practically giving it away for $20 per hour... until you find out about the STD she gave you as a going-away present. And that's what this waiver claim will most likely boil down to, the transmission of a disease, in this case cancer in the locker room.

If his being traded away for close to nothing from the New England Patriots wasn't a big enough hint, his being waived by the Vikings just one month later should have been. And the fact that the Titans, despite ranking 23rd in the league's waiver system, were able to get him should send up huge red flags. That they were the only team at all to put in a claim for him should send them straight to the hospital for a blood test as a pre-emptive strike in their fight against what they've most certainly and ignorantly contracted.

So the Titans as a result can suffer the dubious distinction of being the first team to go through three name changes in just 13 years, from the Houston Oilers to the Tennessee Oilers in 1997, then to the Tennessee Titans in 1999, and now to the Tennessee Titanic.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Waiving Goodbye to Moss and all the Drama... oh, Wait, the Vikings still Have Favre

The old adage says that a rolling stone gathers no moss. The new adage goes: Randy Moss must have been stoned out of his mind when he delivered his post-game press conference on Sunday.



His comments go far beyond ones uttered out of innocent nostalgia. It’s really as if he’s trying to apologize to a scorned lover and the press conference is his big romantic gesture that is sure to win her back at the end of some sappy romantic comedy.

Come on, Bill Belichick, take him back. You know you want to. He’s come to terms with who he is, don’t you know? He’s ready to change... only that he acted as he did means that he hasn’t and he’s the same old Randy Moss that fake-mooned the crowd at Lambeau Field once upon a time... brazen, way too into himself, and admittedly somewhat entertaining, no matter what commentator Joe Buck has stuck up his butt.



Despite his rant directed at the NFL and the media, despite his clearly having an ego the size of Minnesota Vikings head coach Brad Childress’s forehead, Moss being waived on Monday was as big a shock as him and his New England Patriots losing to the New York Giants in the Super Bowl three seasons ago. Several factors play into this reasoning:

There’s the fact that he’s a six-time pro bowler that, all things considered, was performing relatively well in his four games back with Minnesota. There’s also the fact that the Vikings only acquired him in early October from the Patriots, meaning he was with the team less than one month before the organization had had enough of him. Finally, there’s also the fact that Minnesota traded him away in 2005, meaning they knew what they were getting and that, if the trade wasn’t some weird masochistic cry for attention by a team so desperate to lose that they decided to start a 41-year-old quarterback with a broken ankle, I don’t know what is.

Even with him getting fined $25,000 by the league on Friday, one had to assume that everything was kosher as he stepped up to the podium on Sunday after the Patriots dispatched his now-former-Vikings teammates. Even as he started speaking. Even when he mistook the word axe for the word ask. Even when he mistook the word ask for the word answer.

Boy did he surprise us. Shame on us for not expecting the real Randy Moss to show up and reveal his true controversial colours... apparently red, white, and blue, with his man-crush on Belichick clearly knowing no bounds.

In truth, the earlier mentioned proverb refers to people who refuse to stay in the same place too long for fear of getting attached, gaining responsibilities, and, in general, bettering themselves. I can think of no better proverb to describe Moss as he seems incapable of learning or willing to learn from his simplest mistakes. What’s sadder is that neither do we, because undoubtedly fans of every other team in the NFL are now hoping that Moss ends up there.

Childress has been under fire recently for his decisions revolving around the old-man wonder Brett Favre and now Moss, but, rest assured, he and the Vikings made the right decision to waive him, just as the next coach will have made the right decision in letting him go the next time around and so on and so forth. History has a nasty way of repeating itself.

So, was Moss stoned? Well, he does have a history of indulging in illegal contraband, so to speak... which would explain a whole lot.

"What team wouldn't want me???"