Highlight of Dolphins' Night Comes in the Form of Brawl in Stands

The Miami Dolphins had to know it wasn't going to be their night on Thursday when they were forced to turn to their third-string quarterback against the Chicago Bears. If not at the start of the game, they probably realized that it wasn't their night when Tyler Thigpen was completing just 59% of his passes. If not then, they probably had to figure things were looking bleak upon realizing that that 59% was actually helping to boost Thigpen's career average. And if not then, maybe reality sunk in upon discovering the best offense Miami could muster during the game came in the stands, with a Chicago Bears fan apparently getting kicked out of the game, for, one has to assume, just sitting their and smiling as his team shut out, SHUT OUT(!), the home team 16-0 in a game that dropped Miami to a mediocre 5-5 record.

Indeed, mere days after football fans were treated to a veritable cornucopia of points in Monday's 59-28 Philadelphia Eagles win over the Washington Redskins, they were equally treated to a humiliating display of the Dolphins' offensive might, or lack thereof, that saw Miami make only one third-down conversion.

Think about that for a second: Miami couldn't score in a game that rewards team for coming up short with the ability to kick a field goal from, realistically speaking, as much as 40 yards out. That's like saying a particularly geeky-looking guy blessed with a huge wad of cash couldn't score in a bar, despite being surrounded by countless single women AND all the while being within walking distance of his city's red-light district.

And the Dolphins' impotence last night shouldn't even be considered the byproduct of a particularly ballsy Tony Sparano risking and losing decent field-goal range time and again in order to try and score a major. Up until the end of the third quarter, had they had the opportunity to kick a field goal, they could have and it would have brought them within a reasonable striking range of six points. Probably wouldn't have mattered, anyway, considering nothing the Dolphins did had any impact on the final score. It was like watching a lamb being led to a slaughter.. a very, very slow, and boring, and brutal slaughter. They had no chance... and it doesn't get any better for them with their recent injury epidemic,claiming wide receiver Brandon Marshall last night as well.

"You mean I have to THROW the ball to be successful?"

So, the Dolphins get shut out at home for the first since 2001, and the second time since 1970, and, yet, all is not lost. They get to play the Oakland Raiders, the Cleveland Browns, the Buffalo Bills, the Detroit Lions, and division rivals New England Patriots and New York Jets in their remaining six games of the year. While a tad unrealistic, it is still possible for them to win the AFC East crown. Unfortunately, two things have to happen: 1) They Patriots and Jets need to take a turn for the worse and 2) The Dolphins need to get healthy... and, oh, yeah, putting up some points would be nice.