Haynesworth Continues to Prove He Ain’t Worth the Hanes He Puts on Every Morning

"Look at me! I'm flying... straight off the radar as a legitimate athlete."

Washington Redskins nose-tackle Albert Haynesworth says he's surprised that he's suspended, which really isn't all that surprising in itself considering he’s acted outright shocked in the past that he has to maintain some level of physical conditioning as a professional athlete. Who knew?

Whatever Haynesworth's reaction to the news, the only surprise the general public should have, in regard to the Redskins' decision to suspend Haynesworth four games for conduct detrimental to the team on Tuesday, is why it took the team so long.

We’re talking about a player that not only couldn’t pass a conditioning test most asthmatic high-school rejects could, but one that had been late for team meetings, appeared hung-over at practice and admitted to having gone out drinking the previous night, and has refused to cooperate with the Redskins’ coaching staff for the simple reason that the team wasn’t playing a system that showcased his abilities and allowed him to actually play half-decently.

The fact that he believes he could be the best ever at his position only if he plays the way he wants to is proof that he never will. The best athletes are able to adapt to their surroundings, fit into whatever system the coaches choose. Anyone can be great at a game that they make up (BASEketball, anyone?), but it takes a truly great athlete to excel playing by someone else’s rules and to not be, shall we say, a little “female dog” about it. 

He really has been acting out like a problem child, kicking and screaming every step of the way this season, throwing a tantrum in the grocery store in order to get his mother to buy him the one brand of cereal he wants. Knowing his fitness level, it’s probably something really unhealthy like Lucky Charms, as in what he’ll need to jump-start his career again, if this latest black stain ever fades.

Admittedly quarterback Donovan McNabb has had his share of controversy dealing with the two-headed monster that is the Shanahan family, but with Haynesworth a supposed two-time All-Pro defensive lineman he really only has to deal with head-coach Mike and not offensive-coordinator Kyle. For a guy known to take joy in the small indulgences life has to offer, he sure has found it hard to take joy in the small blessings as well.

Now, lucky for him, he doesn’t have to deal with the team at all and likely won’t ever again as his days as a Redskin are clearly numbered. Good on Shanahan for putting the team first, even if this decision of his perpetuates what has been a huge embarrassment for the organization. As for Haynesworth, he may very well get traded in the off-season... that is if Washington can find another team willing to take on an oversized baby.